Jenna’s Lyme Blog

As those of  us know, there are many facets to Lyme disease, layers of physical, emotional psychological and spiritual.  I hope that I am not being presumptuous by projecting my journey on the rest of Lyme sufferers, however, it seems to me that there is a cycle that we must go through with Lyme disease that is not unlike the cycle of grief when a loved one passes.

In fact, Lyme disease is a form of death for many of us, and we need to grieve the loss of our pre-Lyme life, and walk blindly forward into a life that is full of pain and loneliness, then depending on our personality type,support and the other things happening in our life comes self pity (I still work on this one).

Then inevitably we find ourselves at a fork in the road.

Do we continue to fight through years of pain, failed protocols and emotional heartache – without the support of traditional medical support, loss of friends and financial catastrophe, and for many Lyme often destroys marriages?

Or do we give in to the tremendous weight of continual pain, mental fog and psychological nightmare to leave the world?

I refuse to judge those who end their lives – not just because I have considered it myself so frequently – but I don’t think anyone can make a judgment unless they have been there themselves – none of us can possibly understand another persons tolerance for pain and anguish.

However, there is another road at this point – “the wrong road”.

It begins slowly and then builds up speed as treatments fail and friends disappear – we begin to give up.  Perhaps it is a form of depression, regardless of how many anti-depressant medications we are on.  Then the depression gives way to complete inertia – it is like making the choice to make no choice at all.

Inertia is a tricky foe that sneaks up on us before we can even recognize what it is. We don’t even realize we have given up.

Inertia comes from the Latin word, “iners”, meaning idle, or lazy. Sir Isaac Newton defined inertia in Definition 3 of his Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia Mathematica, which states: The “vis insita,”or innate force of matter is a power of resisting, by which every body, as much as in it lies, endeavors to preserve in its present state, whether it be of rest, or of moving uniformly forward in a straight line.

It creeps up as your doctor appointments slide further and further apart.  You give up without even noticing.

I encourage you as my family encourages me…don’t give up!

Just because one or two – or even five or ten protocols don’t work.  It doesn’t mean that they all will.  It takes tremendous energy and courage to keep fighting, but remember, our bacteria soup is different with each person – we have to keep trying!

You are never alone.

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• The Road Back – Importance of Amino Acids for Chronic Lyme Disease
• Social Security Disabilty for Lyme Disease
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• Learning To Live As A Ghost
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Posted on November 6th, 2009 under Chronic Lyme Disease, Coping with Lyme Disease, Treatment Protocols • Tags: Apathy, Chronic Lyme disease, Hope, Inertia. • RSS 2.0 feed • Leave a response, or trackback